How I Started My Sunday Morning

My mom is what I call Godzilla.This morning my mom,dad and I were all getting ready for church. My hair is ALWAYS in a ponytail, so I decided to do pigtails. When my mom looked at me, she looked at me as if I were Micheal Jackson's child. She said "You look like a punk rooster." I went to my dad and asked him "Daddy? Do I look like a punk rooster? He said "What did your mother say?" She said I looked like a punk rooster." "Then you look like a punk rooster." As I was walking away I said "You have low self-esteem." So he said "What did you say?" I turned around and said "I said you looked like a punk rooster." This time with attitude. He took off his belt and said "Don't say that to me." I said "Too late." Then my mom took off her shoe and said "Don't make me beat you." I said "Listen Violet. Don't trip on me. I know you just turned 37 but you don't have to act like an angry a** woman." So I picked up the cat and said "Beat me, and this cat goes straight toward your wrinkly, saggy face." She said "Go to your room." I said "no" So she hit me with the shoe on my face. So as promised, I threw the cat. Now we are both bloody. If you get me mad, you should have just told me you wanted to be killed. Bye!